The power of emotional eating
Every now and then, I am hosting live conversations on Instagram with experts on self-care covering a wide spectrum of topics. During our talk we will dive into the power of a chosen topic from sleep, to financial peace of mind, vulnerability, breathe, etc…
I had the pleasure to interview Laura and we spoke about the power of emotional eating.
What is emotional eating?
Emotional eating is when we eat without being physically hungry. We have been socially conditioned to use food to neutralize our emotions (either negatives or positives). I remember when I went to my pediatrician to have a vaccination, and he was rewarding me with a candy at the end of the consultation. And if not him, my mom.
Actually, there are 2 reasons why food helps us feel better.
The first one is by reducing our negative emotions or intensifying the positive emotions.
And the second one, because of the act of eating itself. Every time we eat (even “real” food), our brain is going to release a brain molecule called: dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that provides us with motivation, well-being, security and pleasure. The problem is that nowadays, our modern lifestyle is based on eating sugar, flour and refined food regularly. Those types of foods, provoke an increase of dopamine beyond our brain’s capacity to manage. In fact, our brain is experiencing an over pleasure and then, it just wants to recreate more of it, creating an unwarranted urgency for food (aka cravings and urges).
And because we are living in a world where we have been taught that we should be happy all the time (we are surrounded by advertisement and social media, showing us people feeling happy, with perfect bodies, beautiful faces, spending lots of money…); when we feel bad, we feel bad about feeling bad. And we start to think that there’s something wrong with us.
And it all goes in the same direction. You just have a look at the TV and you will discover that if you want to feel better: you just have to eat something, drink something or buy something. And we have easy access to those instant (false) pleasures; we end up over-consuming (food, alcohol, compulsive shopping, Netflix, social media…) as a way to escape or to numb those negative emotions. That’s what we call: “buffering”.
But the truth is that, we are living in a world where we are meant to experience 50% of the time positive emotions and 50% negative emotions. Because there is no joy and excitement without fear and anxiety. And by buffering, we end up creating a net negative effect, adding more negativity into our life.
It’s true that food provide us an instant pleasure or reward, but it’s always temporary. And the negative emotion you are trying to avoid, will still be there; because you have repressed it instead of expressing it and letting it flow, ultimately leaving the body.
Besides this, by doing this, you are actually adding a new problem which is that you overeat ultimately leading to a gain weight. And, you are also reinforcing this neural pathway of: “I feel bad – I overeat – I feel better”; becoming automatic and unconscious.
What’s the power of emotional eating?
When you discover yourself eating your emotions (instead of feeling them), you have some choices. You can continue overeating and then, beating yourself up. That’s what the large majority of the people do. But you can also use this opportunity as a way to reconnect again with yourself, with your body by asking yourself questions.
“Oh, I ate the entire bag of chips after dinner”. What happened there? How was I feeling? (you need to tap into your body) What else could I offer to myself?
This is learning from our failures. I love the philosophy of “Either you win, either you learn”
So, you can use emotional eating as a way to reinforce this disconnection or use it as a way to connect with you and your body needs. Because your body will always tell you what is happening. You may not understand or put some words in the beginning but like anything the more you practice the more it will become easy.
How can we stop over eating?
Emotional eating is not something that you can’t control, it’s not something that happens to you.
You can stop overeating by deconditioning these “automatic responses”. You have to stop doing what you have been doing until now (“unwire”), and start doing something different (“rewire”) that help you to get where you want.
The first step is increasing your awareness. There is a space between your feeling (urge, sadness, stress, loneliness…) and the action (overeat). The more you put your attention and intention to find that space, the easier will be for you to catch yourself before overeating.
And we want to create this space, because it’s a space of choice. A place where you get to choose how to react to that emotion.
Eating it’s a process. First, you have some thoughts that will create a certain feeling and that feeling, will drive you to take action. Let’s say for example that it’s the end of the day and you feel tired. Your kids are sleeping, you are watching the TV and suddenly you remember that you have your favorite cookies in the pantry. And you think: “I deserve a treat”. That thought will make you feel an urge /over desire to eat those cookies. And just because you feel that urge, you will probably go to the cupboard, open the door, pick the package of cookies, open it, put one hand inside to pick the first cookie, put it inside your mouth, chew and the swallow it. And repeat this with each cookie.
It may just seem unconscious for you, and this is just because you have practiced a lot the pattern “It’s the end of the day – I feel over desire – I eat cookies”. You have wired yourself to do this, and now, it happens automatically.
Feelings are messengers. They have a message for us. And we can only understand (process) that feeling through our body. And so, how does it feel in your body to have an urge and not respond to it? Do you know how does it feel?
By doing this, you are actually processing your feelings. And you will notice that that feeling is less and less strong, until it dissipates.
You can do this with every negative feeling you feel. You are able to feel ANY emotion.
The more you feel your feelings rather than escaping from them; the better you become at it. And not overeating every time you feel bad; will end up become automatic for you.
You are now, rewired to stop overeating.
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Laura de Sans is a life coach specialised in weight loss. Laura helps female entrepreneurs have healthier lives, feel better with themselves & in their bodies, live better lives and, ultimately, loose weight permanently. Click here to see how she can help you.
